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You must remember that the South was once defeated in war. It hurt out feelings. So you must forgive us if we are prone to brag a bit about our football teams, our pretty girls, and our food. After all, fair is fair.


I am crazy about firemen. They are just the best. I never met a fireman I didn't like. As a matter of fact, I dated a fireman once. I mean that literally; we just had one date. I decided to make dinner for him and served him chicken and dumplings. But I think I must have forgotten something. I think it was the chicken.


It saddens me to think of all the people in this country who have travelled all over the world who have yet to travel to the Southern part of the United States. Unlike the French, we would be happy to see you. And we even speak the same language... sort of.


Southerners will forgive anybody anything if they have good manners. Once a particularly charming Congressman who had been a guest at a church dinner my mother had attended was caught sometime later rather, well, flagrantly, as the French would say, in a motel room wearing a dog collar and his wife's lace bra and panties. Mother's response when asked if she would vote for him again? "Why, of course. After all, everybody's got their little quirks. Besides, he has lovely table manners."


I don't know much about psychology, all I know is that when I am very upset, to turn to eating food I used to eat as a child. Too bad they don't serve it in bars - I could slam into some cocktail lounge, sling my purse on the table, and bark out, "Give me a double turnip greens with a cornbread chaser on the side. And be quick about it!"


A smile is such a little thing and it is slowly fading from our country. I notice it the most in airports. In the Deep South people will still smile at your, but as you change planes as far north as Atlanta, or as far west as Dallas, the people in those now bustling cities are beginning to get the hurried worried hassled look, and are forgetting to smile back at people. It seems nowadays everyone is a stranger. I remember when my mother would come to visit me in California. By the time she arrived, I had to meet almost everyone on the plane she had made friends with, uncluding the pilot. She never met a stranger, and her smile brightened many a day and changed many a bad mood including mine.


Attention: Would all the men out there who can drop ten pounds in one week just by cutting down a little on their food please apologize to all the women in the world over forty. Thank you. P.S. - Don't tell me God isn't a man.


People say that you can never be too rich or too thin. I disagree. First of all, forget about being too rich - none of us will have to worry about that. Taxes take care of that problem. As far as trying to be too thin, in a world where people ar really starving to death, I do not see where looking like one of those poor people can every be thought of as fashionable.


A balanced meal. Isn't that when you have the same amount of sugar as you do fat?


Attention. Can anyone explain to me why if we can go to the moon and can invent smart bombs, have the technical knowledge to blow up the world seven times over, then why in the world can't someone take the time to invent a pill that can control our metabolism so that we can eat all the good food we want and not gain weight? How hard can that be? I would rather have that extra peice of cake and pass on the smart bombs, thank you.


My advice to wives is keep your husbands a little chunky. It keeps them humble and keeps them at home. Men who go on diets have led to more divorces than you know. First, they start to lose a little weight; second, they try getting into shape. Then, pretty soon, here come the hair transplants, the contact lenses, and one morning you look up and he's heading out the door dressed in little thin silk running shorts, about to run in the 10K marathon that the bank is sponsoring, where he will meet the twenty-year-old blonde who thinks he's wonderful and doesn't know he snores. Mark my words: Slip him a little extra gravy... you'll thank me for it.


Mother always said, "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything." Just think, if everyone followed her advice, there would be no newspapers, television news programs, or critics. Not a bad thought after all.


The fad in California is to drink designer water, Evian, Perrier, or the like, with meals. When I took one of my California friends to a cafe in Alabama, she asked, before ordering her food, what kind of water they served. The waitress looked at her and thought for a moment and said, "Hydrant."


Soon after I came up north, people used to make fun of the fact that I loved grits. They said that anybody who would eat that stuff was crazy. They would turn up their noses and look superior. I began to feel bad about myself and wondered if maybe they were right. Then I ate some rutabaga! Moral: People who eat rutabaga should not throw stones.


No matter how you eat them [grits] are wonderful, and not only are they good, they have multiple uses. I personally have used uncooked grits to put out kitchen firs, use as emergency kitty litter (for a Southern cat), killed fire ants with them, wrapped grits in cheesecloth and put them in my closeths to absorb moister, used them in little mounds of fake snow in Christmas mangers.


Southern hospitality is really what is is cracked up to be. I know of some Yankees who came for just a short visit and never went home. A man in Fairhope, Alabama arrived for an afternoon in June of 1943, just down from Boston, and he is still sitting on the front porch having iced tea to this very day.


You know, I would give up my career for marriage. Often.


I have very bad eyesight. I didn't know I was a little girl until I was ten.


It's better to have dark roots than no hair at all.


It's Christmas and I've been a good girl all year... except this once.


Brett recommended a Chinese restraunt to me and I went to it last night, and I got a fortune cook and it said, "Best wishes to you in '69". from Match Game '74


Well, I have the wrong answer, but I like this outfit, so just keep talking to me.


As usual, in life as in this game, I go too far.


How could anyonek now, when he or she was living it, that they would someday look back with longing, that thesee will be the good old days? No one tells us, "This is the happiest you will ever be in your life." Standing in the Rainbow


Not matter what you do in life there's a fifty-fifty chance that something will go wrong. Standing in the Rainbow


I know there are sad things out in the world... but I just don't want to dwell on them. I guess I'm just like one of those ostriches; I just stick my head in the sand. I don't want to face the facts. All the scientists are determined to tell us what the moon is made out of and what the stars are... and why there are rainbows... but I just don't want to know. When I wish on a star, I don't need to know what it's made out of - let the men figure it out - as for me, when a thing is beautiful, what does it matter why. I never gett ired of looking at the moon. One night it is small and round as a shiny, ice-cold, marble and the next it's a big, soft, yellow moon. How can we be bored when nature gives us so many wonders to look at. Standing in the Rainbow


Men are just like gardens. You have to tend to them every day or they just can go to seed. Its a sad fact that I have had to learn the hard way. Men without men to guide them lose all their training. Standing in the Rainbow